


It's Just Not Cricket

by Sturzkampf



Category: Widdershins (Webcomic)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 16:24:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9080305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sturzkampf/pseuds/Sturzkampf
Summary: Heinrich Wolfe is having problems understanding cricket, but not in the way you might think.





	

**Author's Note:**

> _From the Memoirs of Professor Sir Benjamin Thackerey, FRSW, DMg, KCMG_

It had been a long day, but in the end we had caught the malform and returned home with the gratification of a job well done, order restored and money in the bank. After dinner at our offices, Wolfe and I washed up and then joined O’Malley in the parlour. I settled down with an improving book, while Wolfe perused the latest copy of the newspaper printed by the University. O'Malley was apparently dozing, stretched out with his muddy boots on the chaise lounge. After about a quarter of an hour, Wolfe looked up from his newspaper.

“This is a most strange article,” he told me. “It is the report of the cricket match between the University team and the team from the Town.”

“Ah, I'm afraid cricket can be rather confusing for a foreigner,” I replied.

“Perhaps, but only to the spectator who does not know the rules. The game is in fact very logical if one spends just ten minutes to understand how it is played. Compared to rugby for instance, which can be watched and enjoyed without any knowledge of the game, but has an almost incomprehensible list of things you cannot do should you actually try and play it.” He turned to O'Malley. “So, friend Mal, do you play cricket?”

O'Malley opened a lazy eye. “English game,” he sneered and went back to sleep until it was time to go to bed.

“Have you played cricket?” I asked Wolfe, relieved I had some respite from O'Malley for at least the next half an hour or so.

“Not yet. It seems a fascinating game and very popular here in Yorkshire. But perhaps I will not be good at it, No?”

“Frankly I cannot imagine you not being good at anything.”

“You are too kind. But it has been difficult for me to find a team here in which to play.”

“Don't worry about that. It is only because you are not from Yorkshire and they boycott those not born within their three Ridings. They are very parochial and set in their ways here. However, once you persuade them to let you bat and you start smacking the bowling left, right and centre there will be a queue of people stretching round the pavilion ready to swear they knew your sweet old Grandmother in Skelmersdale and that you are in fact a trueborn Yorkshireman. Anyway, what is the problem with the newspaper report if you already understand the rules?”

“It seems rather odd. It begins with a brief summary of the origins of the game. Then it talks at length about how there is great rivalry between the University and the Town in sporting events and mentions several previous games in a variety of sports and similar rivalries at other University towns in Britain. Then there is an interesting paragraph about the ground and another about the supporters on both sides and why they support their teams. After this there is a long analysis of why the Captain of the University team called 'heads' at the toss-up and how this decision may have been influenced by his calls in previous matches. In the second to last paragraph there is a mention that a century scored for the University was an important turning point in the match. However,” he started to flick backwards and forwards through the paper to make sure that he not missed anything, “nowhere can I discover who played in the teams, what happened during the game, what the score was or who won!”

“Not all that surprising. As I recall the articles in that paper are written by academic staff at the University. The report wouldn’t happen to be by someone from the Faculty of History by any chance?” Wolfe looked back to the top of the article.

“Why yes, Dr Blurton, Reader in Post-Modern History. How did you know?”

“A chance hit,” I told him and went back to my book.

 

**Author's Note:**

> _Thanks to Vrooman for suggestions and corrections_


End file.
